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The "Rectal corridor"

The Blue Dwarf is invited to the Ffionian homeworld “New Ffion” by Fferna Vah'Jynar. The Blue Dwarf is greeted by two large warships, the Ffionians are extremely xenophobic and are unhappy at first that Fferna had brought them there. They meet the Ffionian President Up'Yoors U'Toss-ah. After thinking he was the last of his race for so long, Efof is happy to discover a planet full of his people. His relationship with Fferna gets stronger.

The Blue Dwarf crew agree to help the Ffionians attack their enemy, the Halkons. And are split amongst three different Ffionian ships. Jay and Keto were put in charge of separate ships. The Ffionians seemed to split their crews up by neuroses, so Jay's ship was crewed by hypochondriac clowns, and Keto's ship was crewed by 47 Ffionians dressed like Batman. These two ships were sent down an area of space named by the Ffionians as the “rectal corridor” to destroy a target called the “Colon”.

Mk9 had been chosen as the best candidate to captain a ship manned totally by 20 year old female
nymphomaniacs. His ship's mission was to destroy a automatic machine named the “Urethra turret”. Efof and Fferna's relationship is put under strain when the beautiful Ffionian girls on Mk9's ship announce it is “Topless Thursday”. Efof and Mk9 are ecstatic, but Fferna is not happy.

Jay's Ffionian ship detects a forcefield surrounding the entire solar system. The forcefield crosses halfway through a moon on the edge of the system. Jay plans to destroy the powerstation on the moon to bring down the forcefield and tells Keto and his crew to do the same.

Mk9's ship destroy the Urethra turret and join Jay and Keto on the Halkon moon. The away team get past the Halkon  equivalent of a guard-dog, which is can best be described as the result of a love child of Clthulu, MP, several goats and something you might find down the back of the sofa three months after loosing a tuna fish sandwich down there.

After getting into the powerstation, the away team meet the Halkon for the first time. They are   potato-shaped creatures with seven arms and are covered head to toe in thick fur. They have no head, instead their face is set into their body. They spoke like cavemen and probably had the
brain processing power as a Liverpudlian chav. The Halkons they meet are initially friendly, and say they are a resistance group, fighting against the main Halkons.

The resistance group help them fight to destroy the generator, but Fferna argues that they should not be trusted and should be killed instantly. This causes an argument, and Efof is forced onto the side of Fferna. Jay trusts the Halkons and suspects Fferna is just racist towards them. The Halkons next do betray them and show the 'Dwarfers into a lift, and pull a lever to hurtle it down a lift shaft. Mk9 stops the lift falling by jamming his leg into a spinning cog. He succeeded, despite loosing a leg.

Chris Harris, Rika and Barf had separated from the main team before they had got into the left shaft., and had seen the Halkons commit them to death. They followed the Halkons down a dead-end corridor, where they disappeared. Barf scanned the area and detected residual holographic energy, but concluded that the only holographic emitters in the area were on the Ffionian ships, meaning that the Halkons were holograms created by the Ffionians.

Jay planted the bomb and blew up the powerstation, crippling the forcefield. The team battle with the Halkons and escape back to the Starbug. Rosette and Fferna fall from the Starbug as it is taking off and get caught by the Halkons.

Rosette was tortured with badly played violin music and “the best of Terry Wogan Radio 2 breakfast show” until she hated all Halkons with a passion. Unbeknown that this was a plot by the Ffionians to make her hate Halkons as they did. Rosette escapes, and heads back to Jay's Ffionian ship, meeting Fferna on the way – she too claimed she had been tortured.

Fferna and Rosette storm onto the bridge and demand that they should nuke the Halkon homeworld. Fferna coerces Efof into agreement also, and Jay is forced into the brig. In prison, Jay meets Phil, who had been put there for “mooning” the Ffionian president. They escape and Jay disguises himself in one of the Ffionian's Batman costumes, slapping a salami on his head to emulate the Ffionian's distinctive sexual organ. Phil stands behind him to emulate the Ffionian's four arms.

Several nuclear bombs are loaded onto Blue Midgets, ready to be launched at the planet. Seymour, Barf and Mk9's shuttle however crashes on the planet, where they meet the real Halkons. The real Halkons are friendly bunnies with glowing orbs above each ear. These Halkons are actually very friendly, Seymour and Mk9 realise that the Ffionians have been deceiving them all along.

Fferna deceives the crew in the Blue Midgets that the order to fire the nukes is coming from Jay by stealing his phone and giving the order by text message. Hundreds of nukes are launched at the innocent Halkon homeworld.

Mk.10 with a Railgun

Mk9 blocks the entrance to a Halkon burrow as the nukes explode, saving Barf and Seymour and the Halkons inside. His robotic body is destroyed, but his consciousness is preserved on a USB memory stick. Seymour and Barf are given a ship by the Halkons to return to the Blue Dwarf.

The Blue Dwarf comes out of a wormhole and picks up the Blue Dwarf crewmembers from the Ffionian ship. Mk9's memories are downloaded into a new robot by Rufus, and Mk9 names himself Mk10. However, the transfer doesn't work as well as it should, and Mk10 is infinitely angry at the Blue Dwarf crew for constantly letting him die. He starts to control other robots and electrical equipment onboard, and uses them to attack all crewmembers.

Jay's modified Blue Midget, the 'Phoenix' starts to attack Katrina under the control of the angered Mk10. Katrina has to destroy it, but knows that Jay will not be too happy about it. Mk10's “army” of Skutters and Peewee robots converge on Parrotts bar, then mass in the hangerbay.

The Blue Dwarf wormhole-jumps away from the Ffionian ships, leaving Efof behind accidentally. Efof is nervous about his relationship with Fferna, as he is letting her control him. He finds out the Ffionians are warmongers who prey on smaller races and kill them for sport. The Ffionian ship is destroyed by Halkon retaliation missiles and Efof and Fferna escape to New Ffion where Efof decides to leave her. He escapes on a ship, but doesn't know how to find the Blue Dwarf.

Rufus, Rosette and Seymour climb onto the rafters above the hangerbay and Rufus drops a heavy crane towards Mk10. Mk10 notices and blasts the crane back towards the wall, sending a shard of metal into Seymour's leg. Mk10 explains that his is missing a file that is causing him to act this crazy (AussieCool.bat). Rufus hatches a plan to copy the file to his hard-drive. Captain Jed offers to reward the person who kills of captures Mk10 with as much booze as they can handle.

Dr Keto finds Dr Shakespeare in his shower, despite him being missing for years. Shakespeare has amnesia and has lost his memory of the past 6 years.

Jay, Phil, Mini-Phil and Dean sneak into the Hangerbay, Dean sees a toastie-maker and reaches for it, it clasps his hand and makes him yell out in pain. This catches the attention of the skutters and Dean is shot to death.

Seymour, Rufus and Rosette go through the Auxiliary Mining deck, where large mining mechs try to destroy them.

Jay Chrysler gets into the EVE-1 battlesuit and fights Mk10. Mk10 knows he can be beaten so captures Jay's girlfriend Katrina, and his sister Vanessa. He makes Jay choose between which one he can save.

Efof steals a Mollopod shuttle from the spaceport on New Ffion, and gets sucked aboard a Mollopod mothership.

Efof is pulled aboard a ship that looks like “a big poo”, and the inhabitants are fat slugs wearing roman-type robes called Mollopods.

Jay and Mk10 take their fight to the outside of the ship. In a spacesuit, Rosette uses a taser to copy the file to Mk10 whilst Jay has him pinned down. But Mk10 had already given the order for all the ship's robots to attack the core at the same time. This is prevented by creating a power surge when the Blue Dwarf uses it's wormhole drive. All the robots are disintegrated by the ball of energy as it swells.

Jay reports that a Starbug is stolen, whilst a home-made army of genetically engineered dog mutants take over several shops on the Promenade. Calling themselves the “Bloodhound gang”, these are lurkers and refugees who have travelled to Blue Dwarf over the years in search of jobs, but couldnt find any so lived homeless in the cargobays.

Seymour receives a letter saying that Jenny Bond, mother of his child, requested that he couldn't see baby Alota anymore. He finds that she has been trapped in the Mothercare on the Promenade, barricaded inside by the Bloodhound Gang. The security department and Jay Chrysler try to stop the gelfs from taking over more shops, as they travel from one to the next, barricading themselves inside, making the shops inaccessible from the Promenade.

Efof is still a captive of the Mollopods. He talks to their leader, called the Apophallationmaster. They try to boil him in a stew, which is only luke-warm. He escapes and ends up back in a similar pot. He escapes again and finds a human in the Mollopod's prison called Ingen Karpov. They discover that the Mollopods plan to travel to Earth and eat all the human inhabitants. The mothership lands on the Mollopod planet, letting Efof and Ingen sneak out.

On the Promenade, Seymour gets Mk10 to help rescue Jenny and baby Alota out of Mothercare.

Rosette and Shakespeare are captured by the Bloodhound Gang and tortured for any information by a figure from Rosette's past. The woman calling herself “Jayne” wants the coordinates for Earth, as most exploration ships keep the information in an encrypted file. Shakespeare and Rosette escape, Rosette falling from a grate onto the Promenade, knocking Jenny Bond into a coma that she doesn't recover from for months. Seymour has to take care of baby Alota, whom he keeps giving to different people to look after.

Jay is imprisoned for a murder he didn't commit, but his DNA was found at the crime scene. He is later freed from jail when the Bloodhound Gang free all prisoners to increase their militia. The Bloodhound Gang then seize control of the Blue Dwarf's Wormhole Drive and await instructions from their leader, Jayne, who is revealed to be a clone of Jay Chrysler from 2 years ago when he was cloned into an army by Evil-Jay.

Jayne is working for the Mollopods, who order her to bring the Blue Dwarf to their planet using the captured Wormhole Drive. She tortures Dante and Jay to get the coordinates of Earth, unknowing that the Mollopods were planning on eating all humans.

The Mollopods launch probes into the Blue Dwarf that tag and teleport the crew into large blenders in the main square in a city on the Mollopod planet. Hundreds of crewmembers are blended to death, including Tara Febuggure. Most crew escape and fight the Mollopods.

The Mollopod attack ships launch into orbit and wait near the Blue Dwarf for it to create a wormhole to Earth.

Rosette, Mk10 and Seymour find the Mollopod's weakness is salt, just like regular slugs, they head back to the Blue Dwarf to find some crates. They cannot get in through the locked hangerbay doors, so crash into the overgrown Arboretum, where dinosaurs and prehistoric monsters seemed to have been breeding over the years. They are followed by some Mollopod Elite guards, who have guns that can transport them to wherever they shoot. Andy the cleaner leads a herd of dinosaurs to them, which the Mollopods easily dispatch, but fire teleportation darts, sending some rampaging dinosaurs down to the Mollopod planet.

Jay gets his clone, Jayne to help him, who claimed she had been mislead by the Mollopod's intentions. Her, Jay and Dante split up to sabotage the ship, and disable the Wormhole Drive so that the Mollopods can't use it. Gravity is taken offline, which is unfortunate as NSD had just taken a dump.

Mk10, Seymour and Rosette find the large crates of salt and drop it from orbit onto the Mollopod city, making hundreds of the enemy shrivel up and die.

Jay gets to the Drive-Room and disables the Blue Dwarf's Navigation systems, but the leader of the Mollopod elite tells him they only need the Wormhole Drive. Jayne tries to command the Bloodhound Gang, but they realise she has turned against them. A wormhole is created and the Mollopod ships head through, but are crushed when the drive is disabled and the wormhole collapses.

Efof and Andy the cleaner both get knocked unconscious by a tramp, and share a dream together exploring their backgrounds.

Captain Jed and Rosette travel to New-Stoke to collect some money that Jed had buried there for safe keeping a few years ago, but realised that his ex-partner Al Moneymiser had already collected the money and built a large mansion on New-Stoke. Jed beats him up and leaves.

As Jed and Rosette leave New-Stoke, a spacestation crashes to the ground, having been attacked by an unknown craft. On Earth, a Hymenoptera ship crashes into the ocean, having been shot down by a similar unknown enemy.

On the way back to the Blue Dwarf, Jed discovers a derelict transport ship that has been disabled and partially destroyed by an unknown enemy. He takes a salvage team to retrieve some cargo, despite it being illegal.

The team in the derelict transport ship are attacked by a race of aliens called the Centaurians, who are normally a pacifist race, but want to protect the cargo that is rightfully theirs – claiming the Blue Dwarf away team are “Pirates”.

A team sneaks aboard the Centurian ship to discover more about them.

Ingen Karpov accidentally sets fire to the cargobay containing all the BD's supply of alcohol. There is a riot as all the crew struggle to save as much as they can, and then keep it all for themselves.

As there is no alcohol left for public consumption, there is a strike on Christmas day. A man named Boris Vasquez becomes a powerful man as he is in control of all the alcohol onboard, his gang kill Joseph Severn.

No engineers are available to fix a problem with the air so the crew almost suffocate but they are saved by Rufus who finds it's only a missing screw.